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Hey everyone! I got this in my mail and its quite funny!
Thoughts from a Man's heart
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Theaverage man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too where he is going.
Everyonein the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as
Her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached
The altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed
Something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to thefather by the bride.
Thefather could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulgethe secret and say something. So he announced :
'Ladiesand Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...' Then he raised hishands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally,finally
Returned my Credit Card to me.'
Audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom! ! !
Now the Best one. . . . .
AMan was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you
Take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'
Theman stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the
Road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one morestep a car will run over you, and you will die.'
Theman did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
Corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?'
'Iam your guardian angel,' the voice answered..
'Oh,yeah?' the man said
'And where the hell were you when I got married?'